" Agreed, it wouldn't make for much of a contest, but the top 10 reasons are as follows: 10. it was the highlight of my life." Barry Hayes San Luis Obispo, Calif. And looking back on such a perfect moment, years from now, knowing that it started it all. Does not wear a knit skullcap (unless Anna wants him to). Career success on almost the same level as Anna's (i.e., topped-out, mid-level professional). Top 10 Reasons Anna Kournikova should go out with Dave Kowalewski ... Also being unemployed and somewhat less-than-active due to an unfortunate weight problem, I should have no trouble working around her hectic schedule should our date blossom into a long-term and meaningful relationship -- as I'm certain it will. " Isn't it amazing with that great groundstroke If you relied on income from tourneys -- you would be broke! I don't ask for much, but this is my one chance for happiness. Like apples and oranges, oil and water, yin and yang, Anna and I belong together like two peas in a pod.I know I've said that about the last dozen or so dates I picked up on the Internet, but I really feel a special kinship with Ms. I can't describe it, but it's intense and it's real and sometimes when I look at her pictures I get a feeling like God is slapping me in the back of my head and screaming "Well, what are you waiting for? Who would have guessed that the girl who dates hockey stars Could very well end up dancing at strip bars? the date gives her a great chance to win her first tournament, The Capital One Make Out with Dave Open. I earnestly feel that I deserve this more than any man on earth. Brett Welaj Irving, Texas The Year in Sex & Sports 2002 Immerman: 2003 -- An Anna Odyssey Page 2 Quiz: Anna or not Anna? Anna Kournikova Anna's day in pictures Page 2: Top 10 reasons Anna blew her top Mc Kendry: In defense of Anna Shanoff: 'Unforced Error,' the musical Sportoon: Flushed out of Flushing Let the skirts fly: Anna vs. Caple: Anna's wicked web Bakay's Tale of the Tape: Anna vs.My least favorite movie of all-time is "Ruskies" for its deplorable exploitation of the prevailing '80s American sentiment towards Russia. Thomas Gallagher New York In a time of giving and holiday cheer, I am making what truly might be the ultimate personal sacrifice. I pictured Anna in her kerchief and I in my cap, That's all she was wearing as she sat on my lap.Nikolai Volkov would kill Hulk Hogan in a steel-cage match. In the '80s, I lobbied the video game industry for a national ban on "Russian Attack." Yakov Smirnoff is the greatest comedic genius of all-time. I would like to win the date not for myself but for my buddy, Steve. If this dream could come true I'd promise not to bite, and she would enjoy herself all through the night! A sampling of me: I've never been hunted by the Russian Mob.When I was 8, I dressed as Gorbachev for Halloween. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst and a ruthless bookie. I once read "Paradise Lost," "Moby Dick" and "David Copperfield" in one day. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. For what we know has been sometime, Steve has not gone on a date. In a darkly lit room, I bear a strong resemblance to Enrique Eglesias (mole sold separately).
That would enable all males to think that they still have a chance with her. Choose me, Anna, for all the kids out there that still believe in Christmas miracles! However, I feel that I have certain traits that would make me stand out from the crowd like a sports bra billboard at Wembley. Surprisingly, Chip tends to be attracted to flawless Russian blondes with stellar bodies and minimal brain activity. Please understand that this date isn't just for me, but for everybody who came out of their respective college and started a career with no light at the end of the tunnel. "Dear, why should Anna Kournikova, the only woman, next to you, who makes my knees buckle, the only fantasy I've ever truly wished for outside of the wonderful 14 years we've spent together, why should she go out on a date with me? " follows but only chumps care what the masses think. All of a sudden, like a bolt of lightening, I see Anna appear out of nowhere, playing the game she invented -- tennis (yes, she invented tennis for many men across the country). I feel that it's a travesty that personal appearance isn't somehow factored into tennis rankings. For the record, I didn't actually sleep with the prostitute that tried to pick me up when I visited Russia as a high school senior. I'm willing to let The Sports Guy sit near me and tell me what to say (a la Cyrano De Bergerac). And is there a personal "you" who longs for sanctuary with a trusted soul? I postulate then, is there a stronger attraction than Anna and I?
If I can keep working hard and doing what I'm doing, the sky is the limit for me." Steve dreams of sporting the Doug Christie jersey someday as he currently totes the A. In the face of my Arabic last name, I'm actually quite passive.
Finally, I speak three languages, four if you include the mindless babble I would emit if ever I were lucky enough to be within 100 yards of Anna.
You have your, "type-flight professional Page 2 columnists," tell the Kournikova that no one replied to the ad you put on Page 2. By virtue of wearing this shirt constantly, Anna is perpetually kept close to my heart, both literally and symbolically.
Next, tell her to call back if she has any questions (this is the point where you give her my phone number because I thought of the idea). Wouldn't have to change initials on monogrammed towels if you end up marrying him. Imagine ESPN personalities trying to find an nickname for Kournikova-Kowalewski relationship. This shirt has been embraced as the official shirt of my tennis team and has served as an endless repository of inspiration and motivation.